my blogs
My blogs are informed by research and my life's experiences. Ideas, views and thoughts shared here are my own and are not representative of my employers. Sharing my candid thoughts and alternative perspectives will never impact the excellence I aim for in following, adopting and implementing organizations' systems and structures, and in collaborating and working hard to successfully achieve organizational goals. I share my ideas and truth to bring awareness and impact change. I share my ideas and truth as an unpaid but impactful coaching consultant because I know my voice matters and my ideas are valued. I love creating and sharing! For too long, I listened and witnessed how gossip and others' narratives about me impacted my opportunities, and others interaction with me. I have endured the harm created by gossip for more than 14 years. Now, I am ready to share my truth. Never ever is it my intention to call out anyone; my stories and experiences do not and will never highlight names of people or organizations; only my experiences. I am not trying to be play victim or come across as being negative, all I am doing is sharing my experiences. You can choose to believe them or not, learn from them or not, read them or not. You have a right to choose! What I would say is if you ever acted on gossip you heard about me, now you get to hear my perspective. I know that no one, absolutely no one would want their loved ones to go through what I did, and I will never ever wish these actions on anyone. I am forever grateful to my wife Melanie Gildharry for her unwavering love, support and intelligent advice! I am so very blessed to be in a marriage with this woman! The Roles Formed From Gossip Informed by research and personal experiences, this infographic was created with the sincere intention to help stop the grave problems caused by gossip. It is based on my STOP Gossip PBL task that I created to make an authentic difference in our communities. The roles formed by gossip are real. Gossip destroys reputations and what could be sincere professional relationships in communities, at work, and more. More so, gossip victims face hateful, hurtful, harmful, and false accusations and narratives created by gossipers and bullies who work extremely hard to try to destroy gossipees’ lives. Like bullies, gossipers never function alone; they work in the best teams you will ever find to destroy lives and reputations. They excel in playing childish and harmful gossip games and picking on people who come across as quiet, those who do not have the support of others or who are not liked by the masses, those who they feel they must control, and those they hate with a strong passion. Gossip and bullies live in a place of constant hate, envy and negative competition. They hate that you are living your best life and they want the same things you have in life. They want to travel to the same places you have been or you plan to go to in the future (information obtained from stalking) so they try to block you trips or make it look like you are competing with them. Gossip and bullying are their methods of making it look like you have issues. You are not allowed to be happy because they are not happy, so they gossip about you to try to destroy your happiness. Gossipers and bullies mask their actions with “sunshine” smiles, the “kindest” words, and the most “caring and pure” actions. Types of and Impact of Gossip in the Workplace More and more articles are being shared about the destructive impact that gossip has on workplace culture, productivity and more. Instead of working hard to excel at their paid professional job, gossip employees adopt and work hard in the roles outlined in the infographic I shared (or maybe they are paid in some form or fashion for adopting these negative roles; like an undeserved promotion). As a result, they spend more time focusing on gossip and fixating on gossipees (and their spouse or significant other) instead of working hard on assigned organizational tasks to produce excellent outputs. Gossipers and bullies create and focus on goals related to employees’ personal lives, of course these have nothing to do with the organization’s goals. Some gossip-fixated goals, stalking actions and behaviors relate to employees’ whereabouts, travel plans (so the country is referenced often), time off, time spent with their spouse, house ownership, “friends” - how many friends they have, the names of people they are/were associated with (so the names can be mentioned repeatedly), who they should interact with, how much time they should spend or not spend with their spouse, the family selected name, pronouns used (We/You), relationship with relatives, blocking personal time off, setting up meetings with them during their days off (time spent with their family), and the list goes on and on and on. Sad, but so very true!!! Of course there is also the job-performance related gossip about employees: “They do not collaborate well, feel they know it all, take all the fame, get too many promotions, do not follow organizational structures, difficult to work with, have too many ideas, write too much, do too much, do not follow our systems, do not know how things work, write wrong content, can’t construct proper sentences, too much of an introvert, 'you do not want that person on your team', and so much more”. While gossipers spend time being addicted to gossipees, gossipees spend time minding their own business, working hard to create excellent products, focusing on organizational goals, and of course focusing at length on their personal goals and dreams during non-working hours. Thus the reason they excel in all aspects of the wheel of life! Behavioral Excellence, Cultural Norms and Excellent Leaders Organizations need to go above and beyond to ensure that gossip and its destructive actions do not become a part of work culture. Culture norms need to be set at the top, shared with each team (especially with team members whose personal culture is to be nosy and know everyone’s personal business and whereabouts, and play childish games), and focused on continually. As we collaborate more and more locally and globally, we must ensure that the norms and work culture that we want to focus on in our organizations are explicitly stated, so that any innate personal and environmental cultures and behaviors that destroy excellent organizational cultures do not seep into organizations under the disguise of that person is a “great collaborator, friendly, great employee, so easy to work with, and a great person who everyone loves”. As we progress in having equity (especially gender equity), professionalism and ethical and honorable behaviors in our workplace, we must ensure that our standards for behavioral and professional excellence are upheld by all, in order to not regress. We must ensure that gossip and bullying are never a part of our professional settings! Absolutely no one should have to endure the reputational havoc and unkind and harmful behaviors caused by gossip in any community, especially that of the workplace. Excellent leaders share this same philosophy and do whatever it takes to ensure that employees have a safe workplace that is free from gossip and bullying. Excellent leaders and great organizations ensure that all teams within their organization understand the legal implications of defamation of character, blocking a person from getting a job they are qualified for, stalking employees' private lives, hacking into employees' personal information and work or home computers, and the impact of other childish and negative behaviors associated with gossiping and bullying. Systems and Structures to Address Gossip and Bullying Adult employees are hired to perform a professional job as outlined in the job description, and serve in a professional role. Sending any form of communication to insiders and outsiders about your adult employees’ personal lives, whereabouts, and any other information without their consent is unethical, illegal, and unprofessional. As organizations, we owe it to employees to put legal structures in place to ensure that gossip and bullying behaviors do not destroy reputations and productivity. If there are no systems and structures in place to stop gossip and the childish and harmful behaviors associated with it, then gossipers and bullies excel at their games and wreck culture. Stringent structures and systems starting from the highest level must be implemented and sustained. Norms, professional development, and documents relating to excellence in ethical, moral, and professional behaviors must be focused on continuously to address the grave problems caused by gossip and bullying. This is how we support our employees and provide a healthy work environment! Leaders, some of your best employees who produce the most excellent work face gossip and bullying each day, but many of them tolerate the behaviors and learn how to adapt. Those who try to speak up are written up by bosses and leaders who have the power to silence voices. As leaders, we must analyze the behaviors of all employees at all levels of the hierarchy, because you might be very surprised to learn of the ones who engage in gossip and bullying. Be aware and perceptive of your employees’ spoken and unspoken words. Organizations, do not be afraid to put structures in place to ensure that you provide a safe and healthy space for all employees, especially those who are the victims of gossip and bullying. Muchaesen by Proxy Syndrome Gossip Behaviors and Leadership Gossip about employees is often driven by insiders, but many times by outsiders as well. A major focus of any organization should be to ensure that employees always have a safe environment and healthy space to work in; one that respects them as adults and has respect for their privacy and personal lives. No organization should ever allow insiders, but even more so outsiders to create gossip narratives about their employees' personal and professional lives. Whether gossipers are insiders or outsiders, gossiping and bullying are Munchaesen by Proxy behaviors because the aim is to ensure that they control their victims using gossip as the "sickness". Munchaesen by Proxy Syndrome is defined as " A mental illness and a form of child abuse. The caretaker of a child, most often a mother, either makes up fake symptoms or causes real symptoms to make it look like the child is sicks" This is exactly what gossipers and bullies do, they fabricate that "sickness" (the untruth and false narrative) so that they control the lives of their victims. Gossipers and bullies are very strategic in creating that "sickness". The term Munchausen by Proxy leadership was introduced to me by my wife Melanie Gildharry during one of our long thrilling discussions about education and leadership. Munchaesen by Proxy leaders and colleagues control employees with the "sickness" they create from internal and external gossip. These types of leaders and colleagues may have been exposed to Munchaesen by Proxy behaviors as a child, so it is might be a learned and innate behavior. One classic "sickness" is making employees feel inferior about their capabilities, so they can "help" with the "sickness". There are other numerous tactics that leaders use to create the "sickness" and make employees feel insecure. In sharing more about Munchasen by Proxy behaviors in the workplace, Meril Stephen a Business Psychologist states, "a similar pathology in the workplace leads certain employees to create or exaggerate problems in order to get credit for solving them." Oftentimes, these created problems are based on gossip and envy from insiders and outsiders. Creating or exaggerating problems is very similar to the "divide and conquer" leadership style. No, not where we divide and conquer tasks, but where we divide and conquer people using Munchasen by Proxy leadership styles. Traits of People Who Do Not Gossip and Engage in Bullying It is a fact though that highly intelligent, ethical, moral, and educated people do not engage in gossip and bullying because they are confident about who they are, the value they bring, and their purpose in this world. Highly intelligent, ethical, moral and educated people discuss big ideas and big plans at their jobs and in their communities, not people’s business; they mind their own business. Note here, being highly educated does not correlate to the level of degree you have. Not at all! Instead, it correlates to pure practices that reflect who you are at your core. Highly intelligent people do not engage in playing the gossip and bullying games. Highly intelligent, ethical, moral and educated people know that gossipers and bullies are insecure about who they are, gossip to deflect from the things they want to hide about themselves, and they mask their actions with “sunshine” smiles and the “kindest and caring” words. Highly Intelligent people are aware when Munchausen by Proxy behaviors driven by gossip and bullying happen in the workplace and communities, and they do whatever is possible to stop these behaviors and make the workplace a safe space to work. Organizations need leaders who are highly intelligent, ethical, moral, and educated to help stop the damaging effects that gossip and bullying have on organizational culture, productivity, collaboration, effectiveness, excellence, community focus and more. I truly believe we can make our communities and our world gossip and bully free places; the best ways to keep our earth clean, less polluted with negativity and hate, and free from toxicity. About the author, Cherry-Anne Gildharry Gossip has affected my reputation, but it will never ever affect my confidence, work products, personal products, character, my passion for life and the bond I share with the most important person in my life, my wife, and my family, Melanie Gildharry; the one and only woman and person I exchanged marriage vows with. I love my wife with an intensity that words can never explain and she loves me with the same intensity, if not greater. We are extremely proud and thankful to be in a same-sex marriage here in the U.S. We love our country, our state and our world! We focus on us, mind our own business, make decisions together and build a beautiful life as wives and a family. We live and let live! Your business will never be our business! Where you travel to, who you spend time with, how many friends you have, your location when you work, how much time you spend with your spouse.... will never ever be our concern and we will never play the gossip and bullying games. We believe if we have a problem with someone, we address them directly, or remove ourselves from their space if they don't respect our choices in life. We believe in allowing people to live the life they choose and being happy for them. Sadly, how I choose to live my life with my wife has become others' business, so there is gossip. Gossip has it that I am too close to my wife and I spend too much time with her (Yikes, why is that important to people I am not married to? My wife LOVES spending time with me! ). So, the gossip that becomes the Munchausen by Proxy "sickness" is "I do not give my wife space because I spend too much time with her".
My wife and I believe in karma, we believe in doing good so good will follow us. We handle the effects of gossip and bullying similarly, and differently based on our unique personalities, but we both believe in leaving the wrong others do to karma and the Universe. I am so proud to call Melanie Gildharry my wife, best friend and soulmate. Through the gossip and bullying behaviors of others, she has been my rock and strength! I am blessed beyond measure to have this woman as my wife to have and to hold and to love and cherish as we continue to build our life, love, family and marriage. Find a shorter version of my Making the Most Out of Professional Development blog at Teaching Channel.com “Professional development is a continuous, connected and unique journey of sharing, learning, creating, implementing, reflecting and revising, that is fueled by your passion, purpose and whys, and grounded in the core beliefs of uniqueness, confidence, and the ability to continuously use and share new learning effectively and meaningfully to authentically meet and impact the unique needs of learners and the workplace” ~ Cherry-Anne Gildharry. In education, our ultimate target group is our students. To meet their unique needs, educators must gain authentic and evolving skills to impact learning way beyond the face-to-face or virtual classroom. Therefore, professional development in education is the medium for gaining the knowledge and skills needed to develop our students into lifelong innovative and adaptive learners by providing them with enduring, rigorous, applicable, and real-world learning experiences so they can make a unique impact in our world. Whether you are a leader of students or educators, this blog will provide you with some insightful ideas for making professional development a continuous, connected, and unique journey that you get the most out of. Here are some thought provoking questions that might provide a purpose before or as you read this blog.
Find a shorter version of my Personalized Coaching blog at Teaching Channel.com Personalized Coaching to Address Teacher Shortage, Close Learning Gaps and Disrupt InequityA SAGE Personalized Coaching Model
Personalize is defined as "design or produce something to meet someone’s individual requirement~ Wikipedia. When we personalize coaching, we provide support aligned to the coachees’ learning styles, experiences, and their needs. Personalized coaching is a new paradigm in education, if not, then it is a model educators need to implement. Too often we adopt a one-size-fits all, an all-too-harmful approach that is hard to deviate from. There is a strong positive correlation between a one-size-fits-all approach and teacher shortage, learning gaps and inequity; the more we adopt a one-size-fits-all approach, the greater the problem. If we want to close learning gaps, retain teachers and disrupt inequity, we need to immediately work on steering away from a one-size-fits all approach and implement personalized coaching with fidelity and consistency. We need to capitalize on our educators’ unique styles and strengths through personalized coaching. I define personalized coaching as, “authentic ongoing actions and processes that support and allow for personalized products and strategies aligned to the coachee’s needs, talents and styles to powerfully impact teaching and learning and eliminate the inequities that result from a one-size-fits all approach ~ Cherry-Anne Gildharry. This SAGE personalized coaching model explores areas we need to focus on and models we need to authentically implement. Find a shorter version of my Strengths-Based coaching blog at Teaching Channel.com Strengths-Based Coaching- A SAGE Approach Now more than ever, educators need genuine support and a deep focus on honoring their strengths. So, how do we authentically coach and support educators in achieving their goals and helping them become even better than they were yesterday, while focusing on their talents? How do we encourage buy-in to profound strategies while still honoring the coachee’s experience and uniqueness? The answer is simple; through strengths-based coaching. We must start with and focus on coachees’ strengths if we want to impact change and be genuine change agents. This is not to say that we do not focus on areas for growth, but when we take a genuine and SAGE approach to strengths-based coaching we inspire educators to acquire growth. I define strengths-based coaching as, “an unwavering and genuine partnership of support and belief that focuses on identifying and using coaches' authentic strengths to help them build confidence and competence, heighten intrinsic motivation, achieve success and acquire growth in reaching their fullest potential.” Being a leader is an honorable, dignified and impactful role, so it is extremely important that we take this role seriously and always lead with dignity, class and professionalism. To do this, you have to be fair, just, honest, genuine, confident, open-minded, transparent, and more. Do not just talk about these leadership traits, instead you have to epitomize them in your every action. To lead coaches or anyone with dignity, class and professionalism, you have to be willing to engage in brutally honest self-reflection on a regular basis and transition your honest reflective thoughts into genuine actions. Never ever should your actions be those of creating division among your coaches, teachers, district personnel and other educators. This type of leadership is referred to as a Divide and Conquer leadership style and is generally adopted by leaders who lack confidence in their abilities. While I was serving as a full-time teacher, I shared a tweet in 2016 in regards to divide and conquer. The day after, some of my leaders (who weren't even my Twitter followers) started throwing remarks about divide and conquer. Clearly my message had an impact! I also got to see the true characters of these leaders. Here is an article relating to the divide and conquer leadership approach that was shared with a group of coaches I worked with by leaders who I believed divided and conquered in so many ways. When you listen to the stories of administrators, directors and other leaders, you may hear that some of them got into fights, played lots of mind games and went down the wrong paths when they were younger, but they changed their paths and had the determination to become leaders. To these leaders, I say I admire your persistence, determination, mindset change and achievements in becoming better leaders. However, genuine change never ever brings previous negative behaviors into leadership positions. If you are still bringing the "fights" and mind games, laughing at others, using others' hard work and ideas to climb the ladder and still bringing other negative actions that wreck culture into your leadership roles, you have not at all changed your path. Micromessages Administrative leaders, directors, and all other leaders must be aware of the subtle negative micromessages they send to teachers and other staff members when coaches introduce instructional strategies. Leaders need to ensure that their micromessages are positive and supportive of the role of the instructional coach. If as a leader you subtly or directly put down and suppress strategies your instructional coach brings to teachers, then you are doing a disservice to students and teachers by sending negative micromessages. My Leading Instructional Coaches Blog Series consists of 6 parts which focus on some of the foundational elements in leading instructional coaches. In some of these blogs, I have shared a bit of my personal experiences and stories as an instructional coach. These situations are not stated as callouts or what some may view as being negative, instead, they are genuinely shared to bring awareness for improving instructional coaching leadership and leadership as a whole. I believe being respectfully candid and honest about your experiences impacts change tremendously. As an instructional coach and a minority within minority groups in education, I have experienced poor leadership behaviors by a few leaders/bosses. Some of these experiences were me being called in to my bosses offices often to be reprimanded, laughed at, blocked from doing my work, wrongfully written up and more by poor leaders, even though I was one of the hardest working ICs who went above and beyond for students, teachers and leaders.
In my role as a coach, I have also worked with some extremely genuine, honest, professional and amazing leaders who were my support system and inspired me through it all. To impact change and ensure that all leaders strive to be as amazing leaders of instructional coaches or just amazing leaders, period, I believe we need to have a voice and share some of our challenging experiences. As a coach, I am also a leader, so my advice is also to make sure that I continue to reflect on my leadership style and continue to be a genuine leader. This blog was inspired by a CMC call for articles., an organization that I am a member of. It shares some of the visualizing mathematics strategies I used in my classroom to impact teaching and learning, a technique that is extremely powerful in deepening and extending learning. As a result of this technique and others, 100% of my students were successful in state tests for consecutive years. For me, it is not about the scores, but instead the profound and enduring learning experiences and connections to real-world situations that my students acquired, which translated to great scores. Visualization is defined as the “formation of mental visual images and the act or process of interpreting in visual terms or of putting into visible form” ~ Merriam Webster dictionary. In this definition, it is noted that visualization relates to mental and visible forms. In teaching mathematics to students, both forms of visualization are extremely important and are interconnected; the visible form is profoundly impacted by the mental visual form. Before we can create a visible form, we need to create a profound mental image in our mind. Visualizing mathematics has extensive benefits in teaching and learning mathematics. Some of the benefits explored in this article are those relating to and involving literacy skills, math research and labs, and math conversations. Students develop literacy skills and make deeper inferences and profound connections to cross-curricular and real-life situations when they engage in visualizing mathematics. Incorporating math tasks and math labs that require research deepens visualization in math and creates a plethora of connected mental and visible images. Math talk, student talk or student discussion, however termed, provides students with extensive opportunities to visualize mathematics and create profound visual products. Visualizing Mathematics to Develop Literacy Skills and Make Deeper Real-World Connections Mental Visual to Visible forms (word and pictures)
Visualizing mathematics helps students develop literacy skills when they engage in mental visuals to visible forms of words and pictures to make great inferences and profound connections to real-world concepts in word problems and text. When students engage in mental visualization before they add their thoughts on paper to create a visible product, they make extensive connections to their personal experiences and information becomes even more relevant, meaningful and enduring before it is transferred to a visible form. One technique that is used to help students create a mental visual image is to have them close their eyes after reading a word problem or text and visualize the content. This is a very simple yet powerful strategy that helps students create dynamic mental visual images which they then transfer to visible forms using pictures and words. Some of my students chose to keep their eyes open, and this was allowed as well. In the pictures below, you will see my students’ examples of visible forms, end products of mental visuals that consist of words and pictures. In order to get students to master picture and word visible visualization so it becomes a natural part of their learning, have them work on one word problem or text at a time. Initially, it may take an entire period for students to complete one task/word problem, but it is definitely worth going slow to go fast when developing students’ literacy skills using mental visual to visible forms of pictures and words. While instructional coaching has been a part of education for a while now, I believe the role of an instructional coach needs to be valued more in so many ways. I have served unofficially and officially in this role for a few years and I feel very moved to share my story, my experience and my voice in advocating for valuing the role of an instructional coach. I am a strengths-based, personalizing learning and growth mindset coach and a lifelong learner, so I am always open to alternate and contradicting thoughts and ideas, which I also gain from research, articles, and others through collaboration discussions and networks. Instructional Coaching Job Description It is extremely important that the role of an instructional coach is properly defined. HR in connection with other leaders must ensure that they are defining and outlining the true role of a coach, if the job is being classified and advertised as an instructional coach, and being funded accordingly. Many times instructional coaching jobs are classified as an instructional coach, but the description aligns to that of an interventionist or purely a full time teacher. Do not get me wrong, I have the greatest respect for teachers, interventionists, and others who are in the classroom facilitating learning fulltime. I believe they are the most important people who provide our students with an education, and we need to do everything we can to support them; I was a teacher for 24 years. However, the role of an instructional coach entails different responsibilities and skillsets and as such should be outlined in ways that the coach will be supporting teachers. Some of these are co-planning lessons, co-teaching when needed, providing feedback, engaging in coaching cycles, engaging in coaching conversations, providing professional development, developing and supporting teacher's goals, using one's content knowledge and instructional coaching skillset to profoundly impact teaching and learning, and so much more. If a district/organization/school is in need of a teacher (teaching and coaching students), co-teacher, interventionist, then advertise accordingly. When we advertise for an instructional coach, but need another role, we minimize the role of a coach and we set this role up to be an "other duties as assigned" role. When the role of an administrator, director, supervisor, or others in higher roles in education are advertised, these are correctly outlined to honor the great duties that they serve, as they should. Why not do the same for instructional coaches? Also, do not advertise for a specific instructional coaching role and then unofficially change the job duties, responsibilities and conditions when the person accepts the job; this is not professional and is no longer aligned to the grant funding. We also need to think about whether "other duties as assigned" should be in an instructional coaching job description as this gives poor leaders the opportunity to dishonor the role of an instructional coach even more. Unit designs give teachers an overarching view of the learning goals, tasks and assessments needed to impact learning. The aim of pacing guides is to provide teachers with the general topics and length of time necessary to be spent on learning goals in order to help teachers stay on track. However, do pacing guides really help teachers? The reality and research of pacing guides are that these provide more pressure for teachers and make them feel even more overwhelmed before ever starting the course or unit. Very importantly, they fail to include the depth of tasks and learning for students, the most important focus and stakeholder in education. Therefore, the very critical question here is, are pacing guides truly benefiting teachers and students?
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Cherry-Anne GildharryOn this page, you will find blogs on educational connections and my life's experiences. Ideas, thoughts and views are my own and are not representative of my employers. References/sources used are public articles found on the internet to support my blogs. Archives
April 2024
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